In a marriage, one should forget about falling in love. Falling is never a good thing. Love as we know it (from our romantic notions) is simply another word for physical attraction. It lasts usually for a couple of years and then starts to decrease. Since you want your marriage to last a lot longer than that, it is a good idea to focus on respect which will grow into love. Not falling into but growing into. What does that mean? It means that 25 years after you have been married every time you look at your spouse you fall in love all over again. Growing in love means evolving a common language of looks, signals and words that only you two can understand. It is almost magical to see it work. I wish it for all those who read this. That is heaven on earth. So it is respect, honor and dignity that result in love. This love is where your spouse will stand up for you and defend you, never laugh at you in public, be considerate of your faults and hide them and be focused on the many good things that you bring to the marriage. This love means that she/he will not complain about the difficulties that may happen along the way but will work with you to overcome them and stand in the night and cry before Allah and ask for His intervention. This is the person who will never leave your side as long as you live and will pray for your forgiveness when you are gone. In my experience this is the only person who you can rely on to do it, for all others will forget after a while.
If you’ve lost your way in this world, feel heavy hearted and are at your worst, return to Him. Return to Him a thousand times over even after you have repeatedly sinned and He will welcome you with open arms and make sujood feel like home again.
But if having a child or a particular person in our life is our reason for being, something is terribly wrong. If something finite, temporary and fading becomes the center of our life, the raison d’etre (reason for existing), we will surely break. The imperfect object that we place at our center will—by definition—fade, let us down, or pass away. And our break will occur as soon as it does. What happens if, while climbing a mountain, you hang on to a twig to hold all your weight? Laws of physics tell us that the twig, which was never created to carry such weight, will break. Laws of gravity tell us that it is then that you will most certainly fall. This is not a theory. It is a certainty of the physical world. This reality is also a certainty of the spiritual world, and we are told of this truth in the Qur’an.
That half-hearted struggle to stop your relatives from giving you money.
“No no, really no, I won’t take it, please no…okay thanks.”
I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… now I look around and wonder if I like them.
I am better than this but you make me feel like nothing.
Knowing something in your head is completely different than knowing something in your heart.
There are a lot of people who are doing wonderful things, quietly, with no motive of greed, or hostility toward other people, or delusions of superiority.